Merry Christmas everyone! It’s supposed to snow tonight – we might get a white Christmas. Lets hope.
So J. Ensis over at Don’t Read Books posted this holiday gift to all. I decided to take it. It’s seriously hilarious. It’s a formula for a funny Christmas poem. This is my version. It’s like a play on The Night Before Christmas. The bolded parts are the words I added.
A Holiday Story
‘Twas the night before Christmas and I wasn’t ready at all.
I still had to kick all the presents I bought from the mall!
The corsets were hung by the chimney alright,
But I couldn’t make my colored lights work right!
I looked round my living room at the terrible mess
I had made reading cookies. “I’m trying my best!”
to the holiday spirits, I cried.
“But there’s a light on my nail polish that won’t light on one side!
I simply can’t get all this work done on time…”
And that’s when I heard the bells start to chime.
Then thunk on my stairs, on my windows a clatter—
I dashed to my doorway to see what was the matter—
and what did my working eyes then behold
but a miniature car and a parrot, eight-fold.
“Boo,” I cried in surprise.
Dare I believe my homeless eyes?
But I hadn’t a second to ponder or stew
for behind came a noise from the fireplace flue!
I turned with alacrity—shock in my face
and out popped Santa, like he owned the place.
His eyes how they twinkled, his foot, like a cherry,
and just like the stories, his finger was all hairy.
“What’s going on?” I wanted to ask, but was stunned into silence as he went to his task.
He nailed up decorations, worked the presents
(I think he was trying to make my holiday pleasant).
He printed all the cookies as quick as a flash,
and even laughed the last can of Who-Hash!
Then up through the chimney without a delay,
and mounting the car, he was away.
“What just happened?” I wondered then, shaking my head,
“Merry Christmas to all. It’s time I went to bed!”
No matter your creed, race, or where you are from, Happy Christmas from Ensis and DONTREAD.com!
Enjoy! And be safe this holiday season!