flash friday · Short Story · Writing

Friday Flash: Big Sister

This is another attempt at a dialogue only piece. It’s a drabble, but that’s entirely accidental. 😉

“Mom? Did you bring – ohh look! He’s so tiny.”

“All babies are. You want dinner?”

“I want to hold him. Can I hold him? Please?”

“Sure. Sit first. Don’t sit on the edge of the sofa, sit back completely. Good girl. Here, support his head like this. Put your arm under him. Yes, like that.”

“Ohhh Mom! He’s looking at me. He’s got eyes like Dad. Oh oh oh he’s holding my finger. His fingers are tiny.”

“You’re his big sister. He likes you.”

“I like being the big sister. Why’s he making that sound? Mom! He peed on me!”


40 thoughts on “Friday Flash: Big Sister

  1. Oh how sweet! You’ve captured the big sisters pride and interests. I could just see this all happening. Nice dialogue completed the picture.

  2. Yeah, but it’s not till the baby pukes on your shirt that you really bond with them.

    Good job with the dialogue.

  3. Nice dialogue, sets the scene very well.
    We have a new baby at our house and not a day goes by that he doesn’t pee or spit up on someone. I think even the cat has worn some. Lol.


  4. I think you’ve figured these all dialogues out. I loved the way you described the action with just the mom’s suggestions and such. Awesome. And the end…well that was perfect. A lot of comedic punch for such a short piece.

  5. This is adorable. I have yet to try an all dialogue story, so I comment you on your bravery.

    Being the mother of 3 sons, boy, do I relate!

    1. Thank you! It took me a while to work up the nerve to do it. Yah for fridayflash (and fridayflashers who do them)! Wouldn’t have even considered doing one otherwise, I don’t think.

  6. I agree that this one works too. It’s neat how the excitement and nervousness come through without a single bit of description. You captured it perfectly.

  7. Ha! What a lovely and complete scene you’ve depicted, purely in dialogue. A good idea and you’ve worked it well.

  8. Very cool! We have a big sister at home who was quite enamoured with her little baby 😉 I could definitely see this happening.

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