Part six in my Friday flash series experiment! Parts one, two, three, four and five here.
Gazelle woke slowly, delightfully warm and dry and comfortable. She kicked at the blanket, but the whole bed shook and whined. It sounded like a pup.
Her eyes flew open. The sky overhead was a bright, cloudless blue. She sat up and froze. She lay not in her bed or even a patch of grass, but on a gigantic web stretching across the branches of dozens of trees.
A dust devil lay curled up across her legs. No, in her legs. No –
“It’s part of you now,” someone said.
She looked up to see the dust rider who had come to take her. “Part of me?”
“It will you let you go eventually.” His lips curved into an amused smile. “Like a boy’s balls dropping.”
“Like what?” What was wrong with this man?
“Until than you are joined at the tail. So to speak.”
“What!”
He laughed. “Don’t kick your devil when he’s asleep. It bites.”
Joined at the tail? She eyed the baby devil and tried to move her legs. The wound-up dust devil uncurled a little and shifted; she moved forward on the web. And though she couldn’t see her legs, still the web felt rough and sticky under her.
The baby devil lifted its sleek, pointy head and yowled. It had a mouthful of sharp, white fangs.
“He’s probably hungry,” the dust rider said and pointed at the far edge of the web. “Take him over there.”
“How?” demanded Gazelle.
But the dust rider only smiled.
Gazelle took a deep breath and pretended her legs weren’t encased inside the dust devil. The baby devil responded, it’s head and body undulating under her. She grabbed on with both hands as it crawled forward to the other end of the web.
Large stripes of raw, bloody meat hung from thinner branches above them. The baby dust devil swallowed the carcass of a piglet whole. It turned than to look at her out of dark, unfathomable eyes and rubbed itself against her chest.
Gazelle gulped and touched its head. Only then did she realize her chest seemed to have gone flat. She frowned down at it. She even wore a flight suit, like the dust rider worn. But who -?
“It’s your skin now,” said the dust rider.
He had followed her across the web and now stood watching a few feet away.
“I – what?” Lord, but couldn’t she say anything else to him?
“Your skin,” he repeated. “We are not human anymore. Your breasts will come back when you give birth.”
She gaped. Not human.
“The stories are true. We really are gods. You are a very lucky girl, Gazelle, to be chosen.”
The End!
There might be people who want more. I know there could be more, that I could turn this into a much longer work. But, honestly, I am done. I want to get back to normal Friday flash fiction.
(Unless I turn this into a Tuesday serial. Still thinking about that.)
Wow poor Gazelle, bet she’s in shock until she gets use to the idea. The rider and it’s devil are one! I still want to know the purpose of the dust devil.
They rule!
Oh poor Gazelle….
http://writersclubkl.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/chads-little-nuggets-of-information/
oh, I expect her life will get better.
Whoopsie. Always a little jolting when you change power levels/species like that.
http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-5/
LOL Yeah, you bet.
I’m not sure I would want to be that sort of God – give me my own bed, legs and body any day. I can’t imagine how she must be feeling but know exactly what I would think which means I empathise – always a good thing for a reader
Here’s mine: Here’s mine: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/01/friday-fictioneers-too-near-the-sun/
thanks a lot Linda! I thought it might be too odd, the whole legs thing.
What a way to wake up. She’s had a bit of a jolt. Sold off like cattle, taken to a whole different world, now not even human anymore? Talk about a quick period of adjustment. Lol. I really liked this story and would enjoy finding out what happens beyond this point. Nice.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/the-beautiful-hush/
Thanks, I think I would too, but I am not sure right now.
I thought it was funny that you followed up “THE END!” with saying there might be more. Certainly the ending felt like just the beginning of her career with her spiritual buddy.
yeah, it felt like that to me. That’s why I felt the need to emphasize The End.
Wow. Very nice. Would love to see more!! Here’s my attempt: http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/05/30/friday-fictioneers-1-june-2012-the-conquerer/
not sure there will be more, but thanks!
I would very much like to see more of this, as a TuesdaySerial or something other!
thanks a lot larry! I still haven’t really decided.
LOL. I liked those big ‘The End’ words because it felt like you were daring anyone to tell you there needs to be more, hahahahaa! I can’t help it. I hope you do turn this into a novel one day
lol Part of me was, I think because it’s not quite the conclusive ending I was shooting for.
You have been the perfect midwife for this birth. i truly loved the energetic feel you give to this story. Can’t wait to read more. Be sure to tell us where the Dust Riders live in the future.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/poliahu-at-dawn/
thanks a lot doug! Energy was one of the things I was shooting for.
I like the twist that they are blended together during the infancy.
As John W says, it feels as though it is just the beginning of their relationship, and probably their adventures too.
Yeah, the ending isn’t quite as conclusive as I hoped for. Feels more like a prologue than an end.
You’ve done an amazing job with this world, I liked how each week you found something new and exciting and unexpected to expand our view of this world. All the changes her bodies going through will put that awkward teenage growth spurt to shame.
lol yeah. You know, that’s exactly what I was thinking.
oh crap. i don’t know what a dust devil is!
I made them up. No one else knows, either. LOL
then that’s better.
Thanks for posting this. One thing I really like about this passage is minimal dialogue attribution: If you don’t need a “he said” or “she said” to tell the reader who’s talking, you leave it off.
Mine’s here: http://stonesoupnovelist.com/2012/05/31/a-scene-something-on-the-horizon/
thanks! I can’t say I was thinking all that much about dialogue attribution
So you’re a natural!
I see you follow the showbiz tenet of ‘always leave them wanting more’. You know, because of the spareness required by flash fiction, I think you have the seeds of an awesome graphic novel. All you need is an artist who can do your dust devil’s justice. And that bit with the legs? EEEE!
I’ll miss Gazelle, but it’ll be fun to see what your ‘normal’ is, too!
Kathy
http://notforallmarkets.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/690/#comment-420
Leaving then wanting more is always a good thing! LOL
I’m sorry to hear you’re done with the Dust Rider series.
I was really looking forward to more especially when I got to the part where Gazelle was fused with the dust devil and her skin had been replaced.
By the way, here is my flash fiction: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/01/the-standpoint/
Thanks! You flatter me!
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Dang, what a crazy ending. I really want to see this continued, even if you can’t do it weekly, just something every once in a while. Best wishes with whatever you choose to do though.
Thanks Guard! I might continue it, I might not. I really don’t know right now.
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