This week’s Friday flash (or Friday drabble, as it were) is based on this photo from wiki commons. It’s clouds and I started to think, what sort of
creatures live up there?
The wizard smirked. I wanted to hurt him. Wanted it so badly, I could almost feel his bones breaking under my hands.
Instead, I stood still. The cell’s magical barrier was strong, but I would free myself.
Wizards couldn’t understand a dijnn’s magic. We were as clouds. If they understood, this cell would be underground.
The wizard left and night fell. Starlight seeped into my skin and I shimmered with its power. I studied my hands. When they glowed sliver, I punched the magic barrier above me. Once, twice.
The hole’s edges were jagged. Like a cloud, I floated free.
Great photo, I liked the idea of a creature living within the clouds, being like clouds.
Yeah me too. I think I could turn this into a longer piece.
Yes I think you could maybe make it a flash of 700-1000 words – I would like to know what happens next!
Yeah a longer flash piece or a short story, maybe 10 or 15 pages long. Maybe even a novel, if I can come up with something. I really really like the idea.
do you ever play that game of spotting countries in cloud shapes?
Lovely imagery in the penultimate paragraph
I have played that game, but not for years now. Thanks!
Haha, I agree, I want to know what happens next! You should develop it a little more, it looks like it would be fun.
Very creative, though. Great idea.
Thanks Manda! I have no idea what happens next, and yeah, it would be fun to figure it out.
I like the idea of expanding it to … why did the wizard put her there in the first place? And now will she exact revenge upon him? Nicely done.
Thanks PJ! If I write something else, I will have to figure those out.
I agree this piece could be expanded. I too like the idea of creatures living in the clouds. The qualities they posses, as you’ve written, make for a good story and conflict.
Yeah, that is exactly what I was thinking!
I really liked this, Sonia. There is a lot you could do with it in a longer piece. I love using photo prompts, too. Great job!
Thanks Danni! I probably will, as soon as I have a better idea of what to do with it.
I love the sketch. The image of her breaking out of the cloud was great. I agree you could make this as long as you want. There is a lot to be discovered here. Great job!
Thanks Chuck! I am thinking a short story for now
I love the idea that thunder and lightning are caused by creatures instead of atmospheric conditions. Brings a spot of magic to the world.
Thanks Icy! Yeah, I think that’s why I am so entranced with the idea
I like the use of varified sentences- some short, some long. It made the one, two words sentences have a punch.
Thanks Monica! Until you pointed it out, I didn’t realize I had used so many different sentence lengths.
Wow! This Djinn has plenty of violence in him just waiting to be used, yes I think you could definitely go further with this character.
The cloud reference made me think of the vapour cloud coming from Aladdin’s lamp as it turned into a genie.
Very imaginative short this, nice work.
Thanks Steve! Wasn’t thinking of Aladdin when I wrote this, but thanks! Maybe Aladdin’s genie was somehow imprisoned in the lamp and he really belongs in the clouds.
Oooooh! I definitely see it as part of a larger work. I’d love to know what happens after and what happened before!
Thanks Sonia! That feels so odd to write – we have the same name
I know! And spelled the same way too! Do you find people mispronounce or misspell your name a lot? I do.
No, not many people mispronounce or misspell my name. It’s not that unusual, I don’t think.
Your drabbles are becoming very skilled. You’ve got a great beginning, middle, and end to this piece. I enjoyed the premise of the djinn and wizards. It’s easy to imagine enemies not truly understanding each other.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! That feels so good to hear!